this is real, this is me!

Regrets! I hate regretting my decisions, especially if I thought that this was one of the decisions where I have finally proved that i had guts!

Now here I am, treating the wound of the boomerang that has been hitting me since the 28th of November!!! Why a boomerang??!!! Ah well, if it isn't dear Ms. Thanges complaining again!

I wish i hadn't confessed! It was a relief when i did but now that the distance we had when you were leaving was so far, I have now come to believe what a stupid mistake i have made.

Why was it a mistake?

1. Because i was merely keeping up with the Joneses

2. Because it thought i,too, had something going on in my heart.

3. Because i saw no one else that i thought was serious enough\

4. Because i thought that i loved him. ( i cant believe i just wrote that)

5. Because i wanted to be different.

6. Because I WAS NOT MYSELF(clearly!!)

7. Because it is one mistake that i cannot mend.

So, what happens now??

I am going to be me! No more lies, no more cover ups, no more trying-to-be -someone-i'm-not. I AM NOT GOING TO CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME! I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN WITH MY FAMILY AND MY TRUE FRIENDS!!!!!

wooooooohooooooo!!! now that felt good!!

before i leave,:::

lame is what i used to be,

now i shall not become,

game is what i intend to see,

now i am gonna play, so here i come!!!!!

broken roads, pot holes, dangerous corners,
are all the hurdles one has to encounter when they are at the roads.
so, is life...
with it's dissatisfactions, failures and problems..

i am not yet wise,
but i dare say that the better part of my college life has been full of opportunities in disguise

most people tend to spell their problem as P.R.O.B.L.E.M but I spell problems as O.P.P.O.R.T.U.N.I.T.Y!!!

i know i am not yet wise,
but yet i can see how pathetic most people are when it comes to their problems..
why do they AVOID it??

i know i am not yet wise
but why cant they just FACE their bloody problem, rather than complaining it to people that happen to be passing their way!!

i know i am not yet wise,
yet i still have the guts to question these matters
although i do face the same terror in facing ur own problems

the worst part is when i knows my fears and flaws clearly and enticingly well
but fails to work on it!!

then, it came to a point where i saw myself as a hypocrite!
then, i realized the consequences of taking no actions to my problem
then, i realized what i had been missing out on for all this time...
then, i realized that I HAD TO DO SOMETHING!!

the first thing was to change my perception towards my problems and that is why i spelt problems differently.

but that did not fix it yet...
i had lots to do....

i had to smile and regenerate my spirit when i looked at my failures which are like my bread and butter at most times.

i had to find the energy to restrain from all possible distractions that can reassign my track
i had to regain the composure i once had when i reacted to major problems
i had to disregard the opinions of others
so that i am myself
so that i have my own identity
so that i wont be stereotyped
so that i can live by own rules and conditions!!!

yet i tried again and again..
my results still let me down...

WILL
So simple this 4-letter word may sound
but the strength in this word is certainly undeniable

when there's a will. there's a way..

SO TRUE...

therefore, before i started doing anything, i asked myself: ARE YOU UP 4 IT???

and of course, it answered with the right voice that is YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
since then, when a problem came up, i always got excited for the fact that, i am going to improve and reinforce my faiths and skills by FACING MY FEARS!!!!!!!