Stargazing with gratitude.

The interesting thing about life is that one moment you can be as positive as a child with a cookie and the very next, have that cookie taken away from you.

This happens when we give credit and attention to all that happens around us. I did so too, until today when I started paying attention to how i stuttered.

I was teased during my younger days. If  it was not for my role of being a prefect in school, i would have drowned in self-pity, and would never have came this far. 

To all parents reading this, 

Your children are watching you. They take after you. That is a given. 

But please watch them too, especially cues on speech and auditory abilities. 

I think i was lucky to have the nerve that i did when i enrolled for a public speaking contest at school without any preparation. I was only thinking about how this is my one shot to get over my fear of public speaking. The paper i held was drenched in sweat as i read from it. My knees started wobbling. I looked up occasionally, making eye contact with the distant floor. I was not aiming for a prize. At the tender age of 15, I had no idea where this nerve came from and i think a future self gave me that push. 

I still stutter now but i dont give it much attention. Singing became my expression tool then. Now the singing has ceased and the talking has gone beyond words and beyond thought. 

I feel the need to be a circumspect now. To be wary. To say good and wise things, even if it comes out as a stutter. 

Because what matters is not how you say but what you say. 

As I type this, I have moderated sessions, emce-ed regional and international programmes, gave speeches on different platforms, etc. I'm yet to do it well but from where i came from, i have made so much progress.

 I am 29 this year and I look back at my 15 year old self, stargazing with gratitude.